Strauchanie Deja vu

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Strauchanie can look back at 2007 in a number of ways. There were highs. There were lows. There were positives and there were negatives. There were good times and there were bad times. There were hot dogs and there were.....more hotdogs. All in all, Strauchanie still came out the other end of 2007 a genuine superstar. I packed so much into 2007 that I even amazed myself.

The year began in a frenzy of every club chasing Strauchanie. Danners, Rocket and Grant Thomas all met with me and tried everything to get me. My testing positive to MSG put the brakes on any moves. Fortunately, I’m only on two strikes. Back to the Lexus Centre I went, to give my all, despite battling chronic chaffing. I joined the mentoring program and took young Brad Dick under my wing. My first goal was to put some pounds on the skinny kid but head of conditioning, David Buttifant, chucked a wobbly at me for fattening Brad up by putting him through seven yum cha sittings in a row. Don’t have a go at Strauchanie. I do my bit for the club and then they send me out to visit a hospital without even organising payment for me. I end up having to extract coins out of that plastic dog in the foyer.

The world got a taste of Strauchanie magic when I debuted in the E.J/ Whitten Legends game. It takes a champion to be selected for representative football before club level. I kicked a couple, was everywhere and basically stole the show. But you don’t need me to tell you that, just watch the tape (and if you get a chance put it on Youtube). Collingwood eventually wise up and pick me for my first game but once again I succumb to the curse of the modern footballer – chaffing. I’m put on the long term injury list. This gives me a chance to work on my book: Bryan Strauchan – My Story. It's a quintessential Aussie classic about a boy who’s born a champion, goes on to be a champion and looks forward to a future as a champion. I thoroughly recommend it.

My world came to a shattering halt when I heard the news that Christie Malthouse was getting married. Our relationship has been well documented and for her to betray me in such a public way was very, very hurtful. Any money, when she splits up from this bloke, she’ll come running back to Strauchanie. When she does, Strauchanie just might take a side step and watch her fall flat on her face. Having said that, Christie, if you’re reading this, give me a call. I promise I won’t reverse the charges this time.

All the talk at the end of the year was about Chris Judd moving back to Melbourne. Trust me when I tell you this – Strauchanie was in the mix. There were talks of a straight swap but let's face it, the Eagles would need to throw in a Quentin Lynch as well. The deal was nearly done before a manila folder with my medical details turned up. It was found in a gutter and contained very personal and sensitive medical information. The deal was off. Strauchanie was back at the Pies and gearing up for a massive 2008. Stay tuned. Strauchanie is set to take football to a new level.